savvyliterate:

The delivery box had holes, which wasn’t entirely unusual with some of the packages that River had received while in the Stormcage. She thanked her assigned guard and watched with amusement as he scurried far far away, just in case it exploded. It did shuffle around a bit in her hands.

Carefully, she unpeeled the tape and a little paw stuck out. Then she opened it completely to see an adorable tabby kitten, just a few weeks old, sitting in the box. It wore a blue bowtie and gave her a pleading look.

“Hello, sweetie,” River cooed, scooping up the kitten. It immediately started purring. He, she quickly deduced by a quick glance at its nether regions. Though, really, she didn’t need to check. She nuzzled the soft fur, and the kitten purred like mad and tried to climb into her tank top. “Oh, no you don’t,” she said, carefully extracting the kitten. It mewed pitifully.

She flagged the guard down. “I need the phone, please! I’m entitled to calls.”

“Receiving them. Not making them,” he reminded her, but he handed the phone over anyhow.

River waited until he moved away, and she quickly dialed in a complicated number. “Hello? Amy? When are you? Mmm … Mmm hmm …” She lay down on the bunk, and the kitten settled for nestling between her breasts. “Oh, I believe I have what you’re looking for. OK, here’s what you need to do. The TARDIS will handle the bulk of it for you.”

A few minutes later, the TARDIS landed outside of River’s cell. Amy and Rory stepped out. River waved to them and laid a finger over her lips, gesturing to the now-sleeping kitten still nestled between her breasts.

“Why am I not surprised?” Amy whispered as Rory used the sonic on the lock. They creeped into the cell as River gently petted the kitten.

“That the Doctor got himself turned into a kitten? Bless.”

“Well, we have the antidote.” Rory showed River a syringe. “But, we couldn’t find the Doctor.”

“Why am I not surprised that he mailed himself here?” Amy trailed a finger down the kitten’s back, and it yawned in sleepy contentment.

“He knew I could help get you here in the TARDIS one way or another.”

“You know, if I turned him back now, it’d be really hilarious.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Rory mused. “It’s really quiet right now, him being a kitten and all.”

“There’s a point. And, he is really cute,” Amy agreed.

“Maybe just a little longer,” River suggested. And they sat about for the next hour, alternately petting the sleeping kitten while talking about a little bit of this and that. It really was a normal day for the Pond family.

(Original image credit)